The Strenuous Tedium of Buying a House

Between having a family, a full time day job and a life consuming vocation; I have to question my sanity in taking on any extra stress in my life but alas, I am the sort of idiot who often bites off more than they can chew. Over the last year my wife and I have been desperately trying to claw our way out of rented accommodation and onto the property ladder with our very own home. We have came tantalisingly close to realising this dream on two occasions already, only for it to fall apart moments before exchanging contracts.  The first was a lovely three-bed terraced house that offered an ample garden and good sized rooms, but required some intensive sprucing up. Having a mindset of making our home ours, this seemed like the ideal place for us to start. We spoke to the bank and received our agreement in principle and rushed off to make our offer. Having met the asking price we were delighted and relieved to have our offer accepted. I danced like an old Dad shaparoning at his daughters prom while my wife grinned wider than the Joker in our unified glee. Our smiles quickly turned upside down however when a faceless, nameless borgouisie motherfucker guzzumped us with a ridiculous offer some twenty percent above the asking price. Being outbid by someone who’s intention was to buy on an interest only mortgage and rent out to people in a similarly struggling position as ourselves, was a bitter pill to swallow. We promptly moved on.

The second was an auction property which required “modernisation”. Modernisation means it has not been brought into the twenty-first century and may require hefty and expensive work from plumbers, electricians and builders. Sadly, our bank could not guarantee the mortgage would be completed within the allocated timeframe required by the auction house and with the potentially huge fees added should it not do so, we pulled out to be safe. A real shame, as it was a fantastic house. Alas, our search continued.

Around a month ago we found a house we both instantly fell in love with. A three bed, three storey terraced house with everything we ever dreamed of for our first home. Bid accepted, mortgage confirmed, surveyor booked in and solicitors employed; this time it looks like we may actually realise the dream we have worked so hard for. However, as I have now realised, this is where the real stress begins.

On a deadline to move out of our reviled rented dwelling, we are up against it with solicitors dragging their overpaid heels and a bank manager who sees us as little more than an inconvenient distraction. Make no mistake, since embarking on this journey, we have encountered no-one who actually wants to see us progress up the ladder. All we have encountered is upper-middle-class douchebags desperate to tell us how much safer renting is, because paying rent three times higher than a mortgage to fill our mortgage advisors mates pocket is so fucking appealing. It feels as if they look at our young family and determine that we belong in the lower classes, renting for the rest of our days. I do not concur.

With four degrees between us and clearly developing careers, we have earned our money and the right to claw our way out of living in someone else’s house. So, the stress of having to chase up complacent solicitors, greedy banks and overly-opinionated financial advisors is totally worth it. I know others who have reached this point and simply given up under the pressure, but I implore anyone in our position: see it through! To everyone of our generation being told they are lazy and undeserving of having the same as the generations before us, you deserve stability. You deserve a high quality of life. You deserve the safety and comfort of your own home. Make it happen!

None of this is easy, and the whole system is set up to price you out of it, but it is possible. Jesus, I work a low wage job and we’ve struggled and gone without to scrimp and save for the 10% deposit we need. There are government schemes out there for you to exploit, but bare in mind you will need support and advice from people who know these things. It will also cost you thousands outside of the price of the house. All the people involved want paying and none of them are cheap. Go forward millennials, find yourself a home and prove the out of touch older generations wrong, and spit in the face of any of them that tell you how easy you have it. They haven’t got a clue what they are talking about.


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